13 Weeks Today

So today I'm 13 weeks I'm heading into the second trimester how exciting is that? So this week I'm still getting to bed between 3:30am and 4am. I just can't seem to fall asleep. I'm used to this though because normally I have insomnia. So can't complain on that one at all.

No new cravings this week. Only thing I want is this I see on Tv like I see Subway ads and want Subway. I'm looking forward to stuffing my face on Thanksgiving which is this coming Thursday. My husband and I will be spending Thanksgiving with my parents at their home.

Nothing much has really happened. I'm still a little nauseous but that is really starting to go away. I also didn't get car sick yesterday which was is great. I'm still tired, but I heard you get your energy back in the second trimester so we shall see. :)

I just feel so thankful and blessed to have made it to 13 weeks so far. My five and a half year journey has been crazy but seems like everything is going to be okay. Still looking forward to my December 5th appointment. Hoping at that appointment they will schedule my gender ultrasound. I can't wait to find out what we are having.



13 Weeks

12 Weeks

Today I'm 12weeks and 2days. It's crazy that I have already been pregnant for 3 months. I feel more and more blessed as each day passes. I can also feel my bound getting closer to my little one. I'm not sure how I finally got so lucky? Life has a way of surprising you sometimes.

So this week my nausea has returned. I think it's actually just getting worse, but I'll take it as a good sign that things are going as they should. My insomnia is still upon me 4am bedtime is not something I truly want. I know I should be getting plenty of sleep for the baby, but it's hard when your body doesn't want to.

I don't really I have cravings it's more like I see something and I want it.. Like yesterday all I kept seeing was Subway ads on TV and I needed a sub right then and there. I got the roasted chicken breast one heated up still it was steaming. Then of course I got all the vegetables like always. Needless to say I was very happy after words.

I'm still getting car sick but not to the point of throwing up or anything. Just have to make sure I have my window rolled down to keep the fresh air coming in. It's okay with me though I don't leave the house that much. :)

I wish it was December 5th I so want to hear that precious heartbeat again. <3 This week I don't have anything really planned I know my mom will be coming over tomorrow so that should be nice. I'm such a homebody. Thankfully my husband is too.

11 weeks and 6 days

My Pregnancy so far 11weeks

So for a week prior to even testing to see if I was pregnant I knew I was. I was having all different kinds of symptoms already from mood swings to my breasts hurting. Plus I had even had implantation bleeding so I had a very good feeling I was.

On September 18th I got a very faint positive test result so I was excited but at that point not sure and hoping it wasn't a chemical pregnancy. September 20th we we're sure this time the test was positive. So I was so excited but scared all at once. :)

So on September 23 I called the doctor's office and they ordered my HCG levels to be drawn. So I went in for my blood work and had to wait the following day for my results. My HCG was 196. The nurse began to tell me it was low and so on. Which upset me and freaked me out. They ordered another HCG level blood draw. I went in Wednesday for blood work and had to wait till Thursday for my results my levels we're 520.6 more than doubled! :) So they set up my nurses appointment for October 25th.

So during those weeks before my appointment I had nausea and was tired. Plus I was moody. I was so nervous that things weren't going to work out for us this time that I couldn't relax. We went to our nurse's appointment and everything went good. The nurse looked at me and said let's order and ultrasound and put your mind at ease. Now here I am scared in week 8 fearing my ultrasound will be like my last pregnancy.

Well we get to the ultrasound room and within seconds there's our little baby bouncing around and moving. We could also see the flicker of the heart what a relief it was. We ended up hearing the heart beat too which was 179. It was amazing and I cried the entire time.

Baby during 8 weeks

Now finally I could feel like I could breath and relax a little bit. I was still nauseous and tired. I threw up maybe 3 times in total. I'm thankful I'm not throwing up. I'm always hungry so I am always eating. So my next appointment was set up for November 7th.

                                                                  During week 9

So my appointment went well I had my exam and everything. My uterus was measuring as it should which was great. Plus I haven't even gained a full pound yet. So after all that they brought my husband in to see if they could find the heart beat with the Doppler. Mind you I'm in week 10. Well she spent along time trying to find it with no luck. I began to cry thinking we lost our baby. The Ob set up an ultrasound and off we went.

We waited about a thirty minutes and we we're in. It was with the same ultrasound tech I had my other 3 ultrasounds with including the last one. She looked at my prior ultrasound again and said we shouldn't have anything to worry about.

She was right again within seconds we we're seeing our baby moving around. The baby kept waving it's little arms it was adorable. This time the heart rate was 173. So nice strong heart beat and an active baby what more could we ask for? So thankfully all is going well.





So now I'm in week 11 and my nausea is almost completely gone. I'm still tired and the only new symptom is I'm getting car sick. Plus I cry at baby commercials and lots of other things. My next appointment is December 5th and I'm so excited I'll be in week 14 and they should have no problem finding a heart beat with a Doppler by then.

Follow me on twitter: @HopeNblessings

We have news to share.

So I have some good news to share!!! Our rainbow baby is due May 31, 2014. Sorry I have been keeping it a secret for so long but I wanted to make sure everything was good. We have had two ultrasounds and the baby has been perfect both times. We have already heard the heart two times also 179 the first time and 173 the second time.

My husband and I feel beyond blessed right now!!! We will be finding out if it is a boy or girl when we can. :) My next baby appointment is December 5th. I still can't believe this is happening.






At 10 weeks

Nice peaceful week

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I hope that everyone is doing well. This week has been good. The Red Sox won the World Series.. Sorry if your not a fan but I am from Massachusetts. :D Tonight was Halloween. My husband and I stayed home handing out candy. We ended up getting a lot of Trick or Treaters.

It's always fun seeing all the little kids dressed up. So many kids were so polite and with great manors. Almost all of them said Thank you which was nice. Leads me to believe there are some parents teaching their children good manors!! Of course you get a couple kids who are rude and aren't happy with only getting two pieces of candy but hey...

Oh last week we ended up going to see Rifftrax which was a lot of fun! They did Night of the Living Dead.. For those of you who don't know what Rifftrax is it is the people from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and they poke fun at the movie. It's a fun night out with lots of laughs..


Anyways I hope everyone is doing well. It's almost the weekend so I hope you are able to do something to enjoy this weekend that makes you happy. My husband and I will be going on our date night which is always fun. We are going out to dinner then to a few stores it should be fun. :)


*****~Baby Dust~******

October 15th

So October 15th for me was filled with mixed emotions. As some of you know it was Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness day. I had never thought that day would have been any importance to me until we lost our angel Hope.

I wasn't myself that day at all. I cried a lot thinking about Hope and missing her. I thought about how hard it was to loose her. I didn't feel alone on that day at all. So many others we're posting about their losses. I felt so bad for so many people. It's something you wouldn't want to wish on anyone.

Even people who hadn't lost babies we're posting about it. I think it's wonderful that people realize that people struggle with the loss of a child. Some of us have only had our babies grow in our womb for a short time while others got to experience the birth of their child only to have lost them. My heart breaks for each of them.

I'm not happy I had to learn the importance of such a day but I'm thankful for the support I received on that day. My life hasn't been the same since our loss in May. Frankly I'm not the same. That's okay though I wouldn't think I would be.

2013 has had so many ups and downs it's not even funny. I'm hoping for a good ending to this year. We will see what God has in store for my husband and I. I can only pray it all works out.

**Baby Dust**

Miscarriage Awareness Month

So as some of you may know October is Miscarriage Awareness Month. I've been seeing so many post already about it. It's heartbreaking to know how many people have lost their babies. I think is what makes it harder are these are people who wanted those babies too... I am 1 in 4.

I had my miscarriage back in May of this year and it was hard. I feel for the people who have had a miscarriage. I think what's even worse are the people who have had several miscarriages. Not everything in life is fair I understand that. Yes God has a plan for everyone. I've talked to a few people who have had 8 or more miscarriages.. All I have to say are those are some strong woman to have to go through that.

So many people will never speak of their miscarriages to anyone outside their comfort zone. If you haven't had a miscarriage you probably know someone that has. Or even you know someone that has had one but they have never told you. For those of you who have never had a miscarriage you are very lucky.

To those of you who are trying to conceive right now after a miscarriage I hope you get your Rainbow baby!!!!! For those of you who don't know what a rainbow baby is I found this on a page and I will share it with you. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
~Courtney
So needless to say it is a baby born after a miscarriage, stillborn or a loss. I know some people who hear the term Rainbow Baby get confused and think it means something else. Anyways I hope you all are having a wonderful week!!!

PTSD and Life

Do you ever notice when dealing with problems in your life that sometimes the safest place to you is home. Since we moved into our home over a year ago I actually don't like leaving it. I feel like nothing can hurt me when I'm home. Even if something does go wrong I feel like I can get through it because I'm safe.

Some of you many or many not know I have PTSD so leaving my comfort zone sometimes isn't easy. I feel terrible when people want to give me a hug because it makes me anxious. Not only does my RSD cause pain sometimes when I'm hugged but the thought of being hugged makes me sick sometimes. I tend to pull away or make a face of some sort. It's not that I don't love the people I'm hugging it's part of a trigger for me.

I also do terrible in cars. I hate being in them most of the time. I don't feel safe at all. It doesn't matter who is driving but the second that person goes into the passing lane I freak out inside. Not only that but I get anxiety from traffic. I've been in two car accidents and another one I'm not sure what to call it.. Let's just say the third one has messed me up real bad..

I have several other triggers too but loud noise for me is another biggie. I won't go into detail about why all of these things affect me or even what else triggers me. I want people to know I did go to therapy for about 10 months it helped to a point.

I think what has helped me the most is our home. I love being here and maybe in away the fact that I depend on being home isn't a good thing. All I know is once I step out of my house I don't feel safe anymore. Don't get me wrong I love going places, but the whole time I'm thinking about when I get to go home. I prefer people coming to my house.

I guess how this all ties in is the lose of our little Hope. I'm not sure if I suffered from anything now after losing her, but I know I have dealt with the loss much better. I think these walls that surround are comforting and safe. I think if I would have been living in an apartment things would have been different. I felt in my home I could grieve properly without fear of others hearing me.

I will say no matter what is going on in my life even when we had just lost Hope I still felt blessed. I have a wonderful husband that has been through my side through it all. What more could I really ask for?? Sometimes I wonder why he dated me for 4years and still decided to marry me after that. We've had over 5 crazy years of marriage. We have learned a lot and the main thing is not to let others come between us. Together we are strong and we can get through anything.

Now all we can truly do is hope that we can get pregnant and have a healthy baby.

Thanks for listening to me ramble...

TTC#2

~****~Baby Dust~*****~

My first Video Blog about Miscarriage

So I'm not sure if I posted this right or not but this is the first video I have done about my husband and I's miscarriage back in May. I write about it normally I thought I would try it out this way too. I hope everyone is well if it doesn't work I'll also post the link.

http://youtu.be/hGk9c20OydA

3 months till December

I can't believe it is already September where has the time gone?? It makes me realize that time just continues to pass even when you don't want it to. There is so many thoughts that have been going on in my head. There are positive thoughts and sad thoughts. Also mixed in with worry. One thing is for sure I'm stronger.

This blog post is more of random thoughts than anything. All I know is December is now only 3 months away and I don't want it to come. It's a dark cloud looming overhead. I don't want the holidays at all. I love Christmas don't get me wrong but since I've been married it's been hard.

Can I say how much it hurts to see parents with there children being able to enjoy the holidays. I want that to be Andrew and I so bad and what hurts the most is that we almost had that. Why does our due date have to be December 28th?? As if dealing with infertility and the holidays isn't enough let's just toss in the loss of our baby with the due date after Christmas.

I'm praying so hard that Andrew and I will be able to get pregnant before Christmas otherwise I'm not sure I even care. It was going to be the best Christmas ever and now it's going to be a mess and I don't want it. I want Hope back. I know it's 3 months away but every time I have to flip the calendar to a new month the thought of December being closer makes me sad.

So needless to say is all I truly want is to be able to get pregnant again and have a healthy baby. We are now 5 years and 5months TTC and it feels like a life time. You'd think it would get easier to not have a child. In fact it just gets harder. Here we are trying again and now we have to pray it is meant to be for us...

Keep in mind this post was for me to vent and clear my head. I guess writing it done made me feel a little better. I'll be asking Santa this year for a baby. Truthfully if he'd like to send me my Christmas gift this month I'd be very thankful.. :)

**Baby Dust***

Insomnia

So I've noticed since the miscarriage I have had a hard time just sitting still. I don't know how many of you have had this problem. I literally have been cleaning and organizing everything in my house. Mind you my house is always clean to begin with. I feel like it is helping me deal with stress.

As some of you may know I do suffer from insomnia so I generally see 4am or 5am each morning. Well I used to not be able to fall asleep in general and now I have noticed I literally can't stop thinking. I think of the dumbest things and it won't stop. So now with my with my overthinking and insomnia already sleep is even harder.

I've tried everything from medications from the doctors, sleep tea, natural sleep aids, over the counter sleep ads, no caffeine, complete darkness, going to be earlier, meditation, baths and so on. What have others done that have insomnia or insomnia due to a miscarriage. I'm at a loss. It's just crazy how much worse it has gotten. Mind you I am on an anxiety medication which I've been on for about 9years now.

I've also realize every night it's the same few things I think about. Whether it be the loss of Hope, getting pregnant again, cleaning or drama it keeps me up. I mean I know I was never really able to shut my mind off even before the miscarriage but it's never ending now.

I'm not sure if some of you realize I have a few conditions such as anxiety,C-PTSD, insomnia, Fibromyalgia, and Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (RSD/CRPS). So I guess just everything is catching up with my lately. I can say though generally I am a positive upbeat person. It just seems to be I've been through a lot in the past couple months. I know I'm not the only one who has things going on. I guess this is where I just come to vent and think out loud.

My birthday and 3months

So Tuesday was my birthday and I turned 28. My birthday was met with mixed emotions this year. I had a nice day with my mom and husband. Though I felt such a weight on me. I missed Hope so much that day. I remember thinking how much it would have meant for me for her to still be in my belly. I cried because I missed her but I cried because I felt selfish I wanted her back.

Today also happens to be 3 months since our miscarriage and surprise surprise my cycle started today. I was secretly hoping I was pregnant but I'm not and maybe God feels I'm not ready. Maybe I'm not ready for a baby yet who knows. All I can say is how I reacted on my birthday makes me not look forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas. I can tell you I really don't want Christmas this year.. I know deep down it means our baby would have been due 3 days later.

I still feel like I'm preparing for the due date. I feel like I'm trying to find a way to make it that I don't fall apart. I can hold it together pretty well now but something will always trigger my thoughts and tears. I love Hope so much and I miss her more than words could ever express.

How did any of you deal with a due date coming and passing?? Was there something to do to honor your angel? I'm debating on this to do that day heck I'll be luck if I make it out of bed that day. Some days I wish I could stop time or go back and change it...

Truthfully I know I'm not the only one who has ever had a miscarriage but some days it sure feels like I am. So many people just move on or others around me are past it. It's hard just forgetting.. You don't just forget or stop loving someone like that. Think about it yes I never met my child or held them but I still love then and think about them. It's like loving God you don't see him but you love him.

I'm thankful I have come as far as I have in the last 3 months. I wonder what the purpose of all of this was? I wonder what God truly has planned for my husband and I? I'm hopeful that we will have a family.

Should have been over 20 weeks now......

I just realized I would have been in the half way point of pregnancy if I was still pregnant. I should be over 20 weeks and would have been finding out the sex of our baby.. Even though in our heart we thought it was a girl. I'm not sure why this is bothering me so bad.

It's not that it's making me want to cry just more anxious than anything. Plus I feel the emptiness in the my tummy again. Every so often I get that feeling of something is missing which it is. So as many know we are allowed to try again. So fingers crossed it's going to happen. I know it's going to be the waiting game each month.

All I know is I HATE negative pregnancy test results I've had 5 years worth of them with a few chemical pregnancies thrown in. Knowing that each month I could be seeing negative results makes me sad. I know I used to cry almost every month when I'd be late and test negative.

Who knows what is meant to happen... I know what I want to happen but it doesn't mean it is apart of the plan God has for me. I guess I just hope God has a child or children in our plan. Even though I do have a child in heaven.. I guess that means I'm just hoping for at least one more but for him or her to be meant for earth.

Dealing with infertility and now a miscarriage is hard. It's a mix of emotions every month. All I can truly do is stay positive and keep moving forward. Even though the stress of it all is too much sometimes. So I know I'm going to hear the just relax part it's bad for yada yada.. What I can say is I've done research and been told by several doctors stress doesn't play apart in infertility or getting pregnant.

I hope everyone is having a good Tuesday!!!!

***~~Baby Dust~~***

August

So it's been a few weeks since I have last written. Mostly because there is nothing new to report. So my parents do foster care so my mom need to buy clothes for an 18 month old. Well it was my first  experience in the baby clothing section of Wal Mart that I didn't want to cry the whole time. Other times I've seen baby clothes and literally walked the other way as quick as I could.

So what I've learned is that I think I'm finally truly starting to be okay with our loss.. I miss my angel, but I'm thankful it's getting easier. Life does go on even if you feel it should stop. I'll be 28 on August 20th and I do keep thinking about how nice it would have been to still be pregnant for my birthday. I know we are starting all over again.

So it's August which does mean Andrew and I are trying to conceive again. I still having a few mixed emotions about it.. I will say I really want to be able to get pregnant again. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it doesn't take another 5 years to get pregnant. Praying for our rainbow baby.

I'm truly hoping that since I was able to get pregnant that we will get pregnant quicker this time. I know deep down I really just want to be pregnant before Christmas. Christmas for me has been hard since we have been married. I see all these families buying gifts for their children and doing festivity  things which I long for. Also our due date for Hope was a few days after Christmas.

Anyways I'm just living my life spending time with family and hanging out with my best friend Amanda. I'll be going to a John Mayer concert on August 17th which is my birthday present so I'm excited. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer!!!!

**~Baby Dust~**

It's been 2 months

So it's been two months since the D&C and the loss of our little angel Hope. I thought about her a lot today and it hurt knowing she isn't here. It's hard not to think about her when you know your cycle should be starting soon. Well it's actually a couple days late right now.. UGH The joys of irregular cycles after a miscarriage.

Not only am I late but the medical bills for the D&C show up and that's fine but really why does it have to say missed abortion? Makes me sad because I would never abort my child. I know that's what they call it just made me sad.

I started writing letters to Hope so far I've written two of them. One of my RSD online friends sent me a pink journal on it that says Hope. I know it might sound silly that I'm writing letters to a baby who wasn't even in the womb for 9 weeks but it's part of my healing. I guess it's a way of not forgetting her. Though I know I will never forget my first child.

So I know the month of August is coming upon us soon which means we will be able to start TTC again. I have mixed emotions about it. I really want to try again for another baby but I'm scared we could miscarry again. Then I think about Hope and almost how unfair it is that I would just push her aside to try for another child.

I want to be a mother so bad. I know I really am a mom even if my baby isn't with us. I can't help the love I have for Hope. She will forever be our little blessing. It's just hard missing her so much and wanting her still in my tummy. I feel empty still..... So to a point getting pregnant again would fix some of what I feel but nothing could ever replace her.

There are so many other things going on in my life right now some bad and some are good. With all the bad that keeps happening I realize more and more how blessed I am. I see so many things around me going wrong people are ill, others are causing harm, people have passed on and so on. In the end I have a loving and supportive husband, a beautiful home with my animals. My family and extend family have also been so wonderful! I can't thank everyone enough! Not only that but to the friends who have reached out to me and be there.

So now I start again from square one and have to pray that the next time will be our time.

3 weeks plus.. Meh.

So it's been over 3 weeks now since we lost our little angel Hope. I'm starting to live with what I call the new normal. I'm starting to feel like myself again but a different version of me. I feel like a part of me is missing which makes it hard. I'm able to laugh and smile again without faking it.

There is not one minute of the day where I don't miss her but I know she is safe. So all I can really do is heal and become stronger. Each night which I know might be silly to some I talk to her. It's a special time at night where I cry or smile thinking about her.

I'm doing my best to just carry on. I try to keep focusing on the fact that Andrew and I will keep trying to become parents to a healthy child. The scary part is not knowing if we will get pregnant again or if we do will me miscarry again?

Just trying to rely on God right now. One day I hope things will be okay. Until then please let things calm down for the time being I have had enough and truly can't take much more.

For my Husband 

Blah

I wish my brain would let me forget the counting of weeks. So we lost our baby May 24 but I keep thinking today I would have been 11 weeks 2 days. Then I keep seeing people who are pregnant posting the amount of weeks they are and that might be why I keep thinking of it.

I must admit I'm jealous of everyone who is pregnant carrying a healthy baby. I know one day it will be Andrew and I's turn I just wish it could have been Hope that was meant to be with us... I'm at a loss of what to do with my life right now. There is just so much going on in our lives.

It's not just the loss of Hope or my grandmother. There is another complicated and stressful situation going on that I'm not sure how I am suppose to deal with it. All I can say is someone needs to be quiet and stop destroying other people's lives.

Sorry I'm just sad, stressed and angry all at once. All too much...

It's been 2 weeks

So it has been 2 weeks since my D&C... I still can't believe our baby is gone. I miss Hope so much. It's hard but each day I'm getting stronger. We lost Hope on May 24,2013 then my grandmother (mummu) died on June 1, 2013 it has been a very hard 2 weeks.

Wednesday was my grandmother's funeral which was hard to get through. I know God only gives you as much as you can handle but I'm praying that this is all the bad that is going to happen for a bit. I was just trying to get myself back together after losing Hope then to lose my grandmother was all to much.

We had our follow up yesterday with my OBG/YN after my D&C and he said everything looked good and normal. He said he sees no problems with us being able to get pregnant again and having a healthy child. It was nice to hear but why couldn't Hope have been healthy and stay with us?????

Now we must wait till August to be able to try again and yes we will try again. I'm scared it could happen again but it is worth the risk to try again. Being a mom which I am now is so important to me. I want to be a mom to Hope and to a baby with us on earth.

I will say losing Hope has been terrible but in return she gave me a few things. She made me a mom first off which is wonderful. Now I am able to sleep without medication yes I still get to bed late but I actually STAY asleep. I haven't been able to sleep without medication for about four years now. I feel very lucky to be able to sleep. Maybe it's her way of saying things are going to get better.

I long for the day I go to heaven and will be able to kiss and hold her. I know as time goes on this is going to hurt less. I know I will always been left missing her. That bound while she was in my womb will never go away. I love her with all of my heart and I'm happy she is with God.

I know she is probably making lots of friends if she is anything like her mommy. I hope she is up there enjoying all of her relatives. I wonder what she looks like? All I know is right now she is safe and she is happy. Just wish missing her didn't hurt so much.


Sending baby dust

Praying for my Rainbow Baby!!!!

Thankful for my husband!

Look at the stickers they put on my Hospital Bracelet the day I lost my angel

Where do I go from here????

I keep wishing this was a nightmare and I could wake up from. I'm trying so hard to keep myself together but I miss my baby so much. I've grieved losing people very close to me before but this is worse. This is a pain that I have never experienced.

I know my sweet Hope is looking down on me from heaven but I'm selfish and want her back with me. I'll never understand why my little angel didn't get to be with me on earth. I miss the way it felt to know she was in my tummy.

I'm not sure how to move past this. It's hard to see pregnant woman and be happy for them. I cry when I see them it's too much. I know that I don't know their story. They to could have bad a miscarriage or had infertility. I'm just jealous right now.

 I don't want to be around babies and that makes me feel bad. I love babies. I know right now everything all seems too much. I know it is going to take a bit to get myself back to the normal well the new normal. I'll never be the same Hope has changed me.

Bare with me while I go through this roller  coaster of emotions. It's a scary thought not knowing what  the future has in store for us. I pray one day we will get to make Hope a big sister. I know no matter what happens in life I will never forget my angel.

Angel of Hope 

Memories with our little Hope

So it's been a few days since everything has happened. I have been a mix of emotions. I have never cried so much and felt this much pain before. Losing her is the hardest thing in the entire world. I've been missing her so much.

I was thinking about how we will never get to bring her anywhere or do anything with her. Then I though about it. Silly me we did do stuff with her. While she was in my tummy we went to one of my favorite places. We went to Maine. :)

Well not only did we go to Maine but I did and saw some of my most favorite things. So in her short time in my belly she was brought to my favorite light house Nubble Light in York Maine. We also walked on the beach and looked for shells. Now that I think about it I'm thankful I put my hands in the water.

I also went swimming which is my favorite thing to do. So I realized already our angel Hope Blessing has already been and experienced some of her mommies favorite things. I find some comfort in knowing she was there was us. Now I have some wonderful memories with our angel. <3

So I started looking online for something that would fit with our trip she go to be apart of and I found something. Here it is I think it is perfect. <3 I can't wait for it to come in the mail. I'm so excited!!!! Andrew is very happy with it also.

Nubble Light

At the Beach

So happy knowing we we're pregnant