What ifs

So I know infertility is a taboo subject but I think it's something that needs to be spoken about. So yes I believe in God. So this is where everything gets a little messy... So the people around me tell me to relax it will happen when your not thinking about it. Or just don't try.. For me I know everyone is trying to be helpful and caring but telling me to relax isn't going to make me relax.

Also I hear give it to God. If it is in God's plan it will happen. I understand all of this and I should find comfort in this all but sometimes I don't. The what ifs pop into my head. What if having a baby isn't in God's plan. What if it's just not meant to be. I know God has his own timing but it's hard waiting. It's hard waiting for something you don't know if it will ever happen...Sometimes I wish God would show me a sign.

It would be great if God could just say yes Jessica it is going to happen or no it's not. I feel like being prepared for either would be helpful. I've started a few things this week one is a tea and the other is charting my temp. I'm hoping that these things will help. As I get further along I'll start posting about things.