Sleep...

So my doctor had taken me off of one of my medications last week. Well last Wednesday was the last day of my medication which happened to be the last night I has slept until Tuesday. He was taking me off of a medication that was causing some problems but it was a medication that helped me sleep.

Needless to say I went Thursday till Tuesday night without any sleep. It took my doctor a day to figure out if he wanted to put me back on the same medication or find a new one. In the end he choose to put me back on the same medication just a smaller dose. So I'm sleeping again which is great.

I swear I was going crazy with no sleep. When I say I didn't sleep I truly mean I didn't sleep at all. I was running a fever and was laughing at everything. I was a mess and it scared my husband. Truthfully it scared me too. So I will be seeing my doctor in May.

Otherwise things are going very good. Looking forward to a nice peaceful weekend with my husband! Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter!

Thankful

So another month where I get excited for being  a day late only for it show up the next day. Thankfully each month has been getting easier  I remember crying ever month when my period showed up. I guess the longer you wait for something to happen the easier it gets.

Part of me still feels that this is our year though. I will say I would rather way a happy marriage than an unhappy marriage and a child. I'd never want to bring a child into an unhappy stable environment. Thankfully that isn't the case with Andy and I.

I keep hoping we are going to get pregnant on our own. Though I know we really need to find infertility doctor that is closer to us. At this point I need a new primary doctor, neurologist, therapist, dentist and an infertility doctor. So I might need to get a move on that.

So if your from MA are there any good infertility doctors that you would recommend? We have a doctor but he is over an hour away and that would be hard to do IUI with. So it looks like I will need to start doing some research on doctors.

Open door

So the animals keep opening the door to the upstairs room which is all set up for a child. It's an older home so if the animals push to hard on the door it opens. Well it's a slap in the face when you see all the kids stuff and a room set up for a child we don't have. I hate that we finished our MAPP Training to be denied later on. I've been over that before in a different blog post.

It's just so upsetting sometimes to think we could have had a child already living here in this house with us. Though I do know once we finally do get pregnant at least we don't have to worry about setting up a nursery. Which is always a good thing because I won't have paint being pregnant. So win for me.. :)

Oh so Andrew and I were watching Tv and I saw a commerical with Josh Duhamell Talking about the kid choice awards and I said something about oh your wife is pregnant (Fergie).. Well Andrew say's you are so excited. With a huge smile on his face I said no not me Fergie. He was so disappointed. I told him when it does happen I would never tell him like that.. Poor Andy.

When will you be having kids?

So Andrew's grandmother had a stroke last Tuesday. She seems to be doing better which is good. She asked Andrew and I if we are going to be having kids. My reply back was we are trying. It hurts because I'd love to be able to make her a great grandmother. I've told her in the past we were dealing with infertility problems but that wasn't the time to tell her that again.

I know so many people around us are waiting for us to have kids. Everyone keeps asking us when we are going to be having kids. I keep asking myself that same question. I don't have answer of when. It stinks infertility just doesn't bug my husband and I, but our families.

Even if you tell them about infertility problems sometimes they still don't get it. I try to explain to people that we have been trying to have kids for five years now then their shocked. Yup doesn't just happen easily for everyone. Hopefully this year I'll finally be able to say we're pregnant and everyone can stop asking.

Common Sense

Okay not that I am a parent or anything but I have common sense. Have you ever seen people and wonder what the heck are they doing when it comes to parenting?? Like why are you feeding them that or not taking care of their health. Or just their general appearance maybe they smell or are dirty..

 I understand kids get dirty or so on. That isn't what I'm talking about though. I mean clothes that have been on for days.  A child that hasn't had a bath for a while. You know what I'm talking about. Their skin is so sensitive when their babies. Or the people who leave diapers on their kids all day long even if they have been peed and pooped in. Hello diaper rash...

All I have to say is I've seen some pretty dumb things that are just common sense. I don't know it's just bugging me. Maybe it's because I want to have children so bad and I see others not taking care of their kids. I'm not bitter I just feel bad for the kids.

I know when I have kids I won't do everything perfectly because no one is perfect! I just wish people would think about what they are doing. I do feel like I can say stuff because my parents do foster care and I see what happens to children all the time. Please if your going to be a parent whether you choose to or not take care of them.

Okay I'm rant is over now.............

Quotes and Such

So I have been trying to think about something to write about. Lately life seems to be going pretty good for me. :) My sister is visiting for Texas which has been great. It has been a while since I have seen her last. She is flying back to Texas on Thursday. So I'm thankful for the time I get to spend with her.

I thought instead of writing things about how I feel I thought I would share with you some wonderful quotes. Maybe some of them are things you need to hear. Maybe some will put a smile on your face. Who knows maybe they will get you thinking. 

Have an amazing day! Sending baby dust your way!

 **~**Baby Dust **~**

When you look at the world in a narrow way, how narrow it seems! When you look at it in a mean way, how mean it is! When you look at it selfishly, how selfish it is! But when you look at it in a broad, generous, friendly spirit, what wonderful people you find in it.- Horace Rutledge

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we took so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened up for us” - Helen Keller

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”– Hellen Keller

Real life is not always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgment of what is working in our lives can help us not only survive but surmount our difficulties. Sarah Ban Breathnach

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
-- Dr. Seuss

Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way. Dr. Seuss

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. Dr. Seuss

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. Dr. Seuss

My mom, sister and I

Life without children

So I just went from having long hair to short hair. The funny thing is my attitude has changed I feel good. I'm embarrassing the change. I'm so happy I did something for myself. The bonus is my husband loves it. He told me I look great with short hair.. Funny thing is he told me he actually prefers it too.. As do I. :) 

Life has been going really well. I'm so happy and stress free. Even though we have been having lots of problems with our car and furnace it doesn't matter. We are just trying to be thankful and happy for everything we have. Who knows maybe this upbeat attitude will help us with conceiving.

I'm trying to look at our infertility over the past five years as a good thing. We have been able to enjoy our marriage just the two of us which has been nice. We can go where ever without a thought. I'm thankful we have been able to have a marriage of us two before we have kids. No matter how much I want to be a mother I suppose it's a good thing we have had all this time.

I know once we have a child our lives will be different. I can't wait for the day though. I know Andrew can't either. Andrew and I are both in a really good place. We are both a lot happier living in our home we bought in July last year. To be away from the drama and focus on us. 

I also know once I get pregnant or have a child the drama could reoccur. So in that way it bugs me. I'm hoping that the people who have harmed us won't come after us once we have a child. Our lives are better off even though we miss them. So that is one thing I'm concerned about our child who be our top priority and we would protect them as we see fit.

As I see it each day Andrew and I do the best we can. I'm hoping that we will be able to start a family this year. I know I'm still young (27) but it doesn't always feel like that. All around me are people with beautiful children. I hope Andrew and I will get to have that. Gosh I pray this is our year. I will keep the faith for 2013 to be the year God blesses us. :D Oh life how wonderful and special you are.

Live, Laugh, Love <3 

*~~~**Baby Dust~~~**~~~*

I'm ready

I'm feeling really positive this month. I'm not sure why but I'm at peace. I think after dealing with infertility so long you become almost numb to the situation. Slowly I'm able to pick myself up. I've been in such an odd place lately but I'm okay now.

I'm happy that I'm feeling better mentally. I'm hoping I can stay positive and not sink back into the numbness. I know I have a purpose in life I'm just not sure what it is. I'm thinking about doing something for myself. I'm thinking a new hair cut would be something fun.

I think if I keep doing things that make me happy that in the end I'll get to be happy. My husband has been nothing but supportive which is great. I think I'm ready to just be happy. It's funny you have to let yourself happy. I've lived so long feeling so numb. So sad... So hopeless.. Infertility takes a lot away from you. I wish that was the only thing I had on my plate.

We all have things to do deal. So if your reading this do something for yourself. Get yourself out of that funk.. I'm chopping hair off and starting fresh. :) Thankfully my hubby likes shorter hair. I'm keep the faith that God knows what he is doing. Ready to just live my life.

Life

So on Thursday we got a letter in the mail from Department of Children and Families telling us we can't adopt through them. We had heard that they were looking through our info again to see if there was anything else to do. They took an issue with me having PTSD.  So at least we know now that we can't adopt now.

Even though we are denied I'm so thankful for we did the MAPP Training. They said in a few years we could reapply. So if we don't get pregnant on our own we can always try again. God knows what is meant for us. We believe one hundred percent we will be parents one day.

We are taking everything one day at a time. I'm so thankful for everything I have in life. The most important thing to be right now is my marriage. I'm so blessed to have married my best friend. So Andrew and I will continue to focus on us.

Dear God

So I found something I had wrote a while back on my computer. It was something I wrote while talking to God. Just thought I would share it will you all. These are feelings and thoughts I have.

God why must getting pregnant be  so hard for Andrew and I? I know I pray all the time that we can get pregnant and finally start a family but sometimes I think you don't have time to answer that prayer. Sometimes I think because I'm not pregnant yet that I shouldn't be a mother but I know I'm meant to be a mother I love children so much...
So each month we try and each month there are never two lines. Each month I fall apart and cry.. Each month I have to cope and move forward. Yet I'm not moving forward in fact I feel like my life is at a stand still. I'm not living while my arms are empty.
I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do.. I'm not sure if being a mother is in the path you have for me.. Again all I can do is pray... Yet I don't know if you hear me.. God please let this happen.. A family is all I have ever wanted. we have a wonderful home and I want to share it with a child or children.
What do I have to do to have you answer my prayer??? I feel like I've failed at being a woman. I feel like I can't do what the one thing on earth I should be able to do.. Is it not meant for me? I guess if I really knew the answers life would be easier. Though maybe it wouldn't if I knew I wasn't meant to be a mom I would have to start therapy of some sort to cope with this. So please God maybe just give me a hint?? Maybe just let me get pregnant... Please it's so hard seeing all these other people with their happy little families and here Andrew and I are wanting that so bad but not having it.
I want to give up sometimes I feel so sad. Please bring us our family. God please let me get pregnant this month..Or at least allow us to get pregnant this year. Please Amen

How do I deal

I've been asked a few times how do I deal with others around me being pregnant or having children. To be honest I'm generally not jealous of someone being pregnant. I tend to just be happy for them. Though I have to admit there have been times I've been jealous. It's odd it's different for each person. 

Generally I'm more jealous they have children. Not that I'm jealous of their children. I suppose it is more wishing I could have what they have. I do my best to just be happy for them. I enjoy spending time with other peoples kids. So when I'm around people with kids I'm happy. So yes kids make me happy even if they are not my own. :)

I've been asked how I deal with baby showers and birthday parties. I love going to baby showers. I think it's great to be able to celebrate something so wonderful. With birthday parties I just go and have fun. I always end up playing with everyone's kids at the parties too. I really don't have a problem parties or baby showers.

Over the past year I have distanced myself away from people. It's just in general. I like being by myself. I need to get myself wanting to spend time with people again. I'm kinda in a funk and I'm better alone. It's not that I'm sad because I'm not. It is so hard to explain what I am going through right now. I'm emotionally distant and my guard it up.

Days like this

So I went to see my neurologist today and it went okay. My neuropathy is getting worse. At first is was just my feet but now it is my entire lower half. To be truthful walking isn't the easiest thing for me. It's hard to walk when you can barely feel your legs. It scares me I'm 27 and sitting in a chair is to much for me. I have to keep my legs up.

The doctor compared me to an 80 year old woman. My reflexes have slow down. It's not just my body anymore it's my vision. I get a lot of blurred vision. Trying to watch a tv program is next to impossible I can't keep myself paying attention. Not only that I forget what I'm watching and have to watch things over and over to understand.

So here I am wanting to be able to have a child when I struggle just to take care of myself. I never thought my life was going to turn out this way. I'm blessed with the most amazing husband ever but I don't know how he deals with me. I feel terrible we don't even sleep in the same bed. 

I knew deep down I was getting worse. I just don't want to lose being able to walk. I mean here I am alone in my own house and walking to the bathroom some days is a struggle. I try not to burden people with my problems but I guess the doctors just brought it all up.

I will be finding a therapist soon not just because my neurologist said I should but because I need to. He said I can only be so strong. I'm so blessed with so much in my life. I'm so thankful for everyone and everything that is apart of my life. Don't get me wrong with everything I'm still happy. 

I won't give up without a fight. Whatever is meant to be will be. 

Neurologist tomorrow

So tomorrow thankfully I will be seeing my neurologist. I have been looking forward to this appointment for a few months now. I'm hoping he changes my medication a little. My medication that is suppose to help with sleep stopped working about 8 months ago. I see 5am every night and I never ever stay asleep..

Also not only that but I have been falling a lot more now. I have bad numbness in my legs now. Anytime I climb/ go down stairs I fall down them. My neurologist last time I went said he had no idea why my legs have been so numb. I hope I get some answers this time.

Every night my ears, hands and feet are so bright red. I'm used to it but man does it hurt. I really want help with my pain I'm not asking for "pain" medication like Vicodin or anything. Just hoping to go on something other than Gabapentin for my pain. I mean I'm already on 2,400mg and it doesn't do anything.

Also I have trouble holding conversation or paying attention this is due to my lack of sleep. I pause a lot when talking now. I feel like I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body. I think if my neuro can't help me I'll have him recommend another doctor. I'd like to be present in my life again.

RSD I hate you that is all!

My review on Fertilitea

Okay so I stared taking Fertilitea twice a day last month. You take it twice a day. What I can tell you is it is really yummy. It has a nice mint/ chamomile flavor.Well my cycle has always been really weird. It generally is about 33 days.. Well for the last 2 months it has now been 28 days long. :) So to me this is a huge step.

Also another improvement has been my cervical mucus. I've noticed that there has been a lot more of it which to someone trying to get pregnant is a very good thing. I could tell already that the mucus is more fertile. If you check your mucus you know what I'm talking about. If you don't you really should start looking at it. You want it to be a creamy white color that is stretchy. That means the sperm can last up to 5 days in it.

Another big improvement has been my cycle is about 4-5 days long well guess what both months it has been 7 days long. Another thing my ovulation was always pretty crazy I would ovulate between day 10 all the way to day 22. Well guess what it was exactly day 14 this month.

So the tea also has a Minty flavor which if you like mint it's good. Just add a little sweetener to it. I've even been adding a little almond milk to it. So if you are worried that the tea is going to have a bad taste it doesn't. There is no bad after taste. :)

Needless to say I just ordered another bag of this tea. It is $14.95 with free shipping. I highly recommend it for the price. Anything is worth a shot. We have decided to try the tea for one more month before we go in the IUI direction. I'm all about trying natural things before we go the unnatural route. I'm in no way part of the Tea company just a person trying it and seeing results. Anything is worth a shot right?
This is where you can order it from http://www.amazon.com/FertiliTea-Natural-Fertility-Tea-Blend/dp/B0006SFQGO/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361651852&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=ferilirea

UPDATE: I did get pregnant after 2 1/2 months being on it but we just lost our baby. So yes this stuff does work.


Update again I'm pregnant with our Rainbow Due May 31st!! We used this tea again after I had my D&C and it regulated my cycles really quick. We waited our 3 months like we we're told and got pregnant the month we started trying.


Check out ipsy $10 a month for deluxe makeup and beauty samples http://www.ipsy.com/r/1w3nw?sid=ipsypoints&cid=general

Strong Enough

Do you ever wake up and think am I really strong enough to handle this? Well I have realized as long as I have God in my life I know I can make it though it all. There is a song that has gotten me through the past two years. I can't put the video on here it is to big but you really should go listen to ***Matthew West Strong Enough*** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knuHDPbE5es That song always makes me cry but for a thankfulness in the lord.

I just think everyone dealing with personal problems whether it be infertility, poverty, diseases  job loss and so on.. It is important to know that God is always there for you. To know he is always willing to listen to you. He has brought me through so much and has blessed me with so much.

Sometimes we are our biggest obstacle. I know I tell myself the reason we don't have a child is because I'm being punished for something I might have done in life. Whether it be something I did or said. I need to know us not having a child isn't because God is mad at me. Sometimes we have to go through the struggles to get to the good.

Another song I really love is Jimmy Needham If I ever needed Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZTGYLZLV_4 It's another song that makes me feel good knowing God is there for me. I think sometimes songs can be so helpful. 

Praying for our Dream to come true

I find it adorable that my husband likes to pray over me before he goes to bed. He always ask God to take my pain away and to allow us to finally get pregnant. I think it just shows that he wants to be a father as much as I want to be a mother. Andy talks a lot about what he wants to do with our child or children one day..

So not only is it hard on me not getting pregnant but it is hard on him. He talks about trips we will talk, things we will do and just things he can't wait for. I know when the day comes Andrew is going to be an amazing father. He is going to be one of those super involved fathers. I know this because I see the way he is with other people's kids.

One day hopefully soon God will let us be parents. We don't know what is in God's plan for us but we both hope being parents is part of it. I truly don't know if Andrew and I would be okay with not being parents. We just need to keep the faith that God knows what is best for us as a married couple.

Sending Baby Dust to the ones who need it! <3

Acronyms and Abbreviation used with Infertility/Fertility

Here are a list of Acronyms and Abbreviation for Conceiving/Infertility   

TTC ~ Trying to Conceive

AF ~ Aunt Flow (period)

AHI ~ At-Home Insemination

AI ~ Artificial Insemination

AID ~ Artificial Insemination from Donor

AIH ~ Artificial Insemination from Husband

AO ~ Anovulation

BD ~ Baby Dance

BBT ~ Basal Body Temperature

BCP ~ Birth Control Pills

Beta, beta hCG ~ Serum Pregnancy Test: qualitative (yes/no) or quantitative (numeric level)

BG ~ Blood Glucose

BSE ~ Breast Self-Exam

BTB ~ Break Through Bleeding

BW, b/w ~ Blood work

BOB ~ Baby on the Brain, Baby Obsessed Brain

BFN ~ Big Fat Negative

BFP ~ Big Fat Positive

CY# ~ Cycle Number

CCCT ~ Clomiphene Citrate Challenge Test (Clomid Challenge)

CD ~ Cycle Day

CF ~ Cervical Fluid

CM ~ Cervical Mucus

CNM ~ Certified Nurse Midwife

COH ~ Controlled Ovarian Hyper stimulation

CP ~ Cervical Position

DH ~Dearest Husband

DD ~ Darling Daughter

DP ~ Darling Partner

DS ~ Darling Son

D&C ~ Dilation and Curettage

D&E ~ Dilation and Evacuation

DE ~ Donor Eggs

DI ~ Donor Insemination

DPO ~ Days Past Ovulation

Dx ~ Diagnosis

DTD ~ Do the Deed

E2 ~ Estradiol (Estrogen)

EB, EMB ~ Endometrial Biopsy

EDC ~ Expected Date of Confinement (Due Date)

EDD ~ Estimated Due Date

ENDO ~ Endometriosis

EPT ~ Early Pregnancy Test

ERT ~ Estrogen Replacement Therapy

EW ~ Egg White

EWCF ~ Eggwhite Cervical Fluid

EWCM ~ Eggwhite Cervical Mucus

FP ~ Follicular Phase

FHR ~ Follicle Stimulating Hormone

FMU ~ First Morning Urine

FM ~ Fertility Monitor

GP ~ General Practitioner

HCG, HCG ` Human Chronic Gonadotropin

HCP ~ Health Care Practitioner

HPT ~ Home Pregnancy Test

HRT ~ Hormone Replacement Therapy

HSC ~ Hysteroscopy

HSG ~ Hysterosalpingogram

HTH ~ Hope that helps

IF ~ Infertility

IM ~ Intra-Muscular (injections)

IVF ~ In Vitro Fertilization

IUI ~ Inter Uterine Insemination

KWIM ~ Know what I mean?

LAP ~ Laparoscopy

LH ~ Luteinzing Hormone

LMP ~ Last Menstrual Period (1st day of red flow)

LP ~ Luteal Phase

2WW ~ 2 Week Wait (luteal phase)

LSP ~ Low Sperm Count

MC, m/c ~ Miscarriage

MF ~ Male Factor

NP ~ Nurse Practitioner

O, OV ~ Ovualtion

OB ~ Obstetrician

OB/GYN ~ Obstetrician/Gynecologist

OC ~ Oral Contraceptives

OCP ~ Oral Contraceptive Pill

OD ~ Ovulatory Dysfunction

OHSS ~ Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome

OPK ~ Ovulation Predictor Kit

OPT ~ Ovulation Predictor Test

OTC ~ Over The Counter

P4 ~ Progesterone

PA ~ Physicians Assistant

PCAP ~ Polycystic Appearing Ovaries

PCO ~ Polycystic Ovaries

PCOD ~ Polycystic Ovary Disease

PCOS ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

PCP ~ Primary Care Physician

PCT ~ Postcoital Test

PG ~ Pregnant

PI ~ Primary Infertility

PID ~ Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

PMS ~ Premenstrual Syndrome

POC ~ Products of Conception

RE ~ Reproductive Endocrinologist

RI ~ Reproductive Immunologist

RPL ~ Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

Rx ~ Prescription

SA ~ Semen Analysis

S/b, SB Stillbirth

SI ~ Secondary Infertility

SO ~ Significant Other

TTC ~ Trying to conceive

TL ~ Tubal Ligation

TR ~ Tubal Reversal

Tx ~ Treatment

TIA ~ Thanks in advance

TAB ~ Taking A Break

TMI ~ Too Much Information

UR ~ Urologist

US, u/s ~ Ultrasound

UTI ~ Urinary Tract Infection

V ~ Vasectomy

VR ~ Vasectomy Reversal

http://www.fertilityties.com/topics/ttc-lingo-learn-ttc-acronyms-and-abbreviations

Open communication

So I think it it important for everyone suffering from infertility to have open communication with someone. Whether it be your spouse, family or a friend. I have my husband to talk to but he only understands so much. I find myself a lot talking to my mom and my two best friends Natalie and Amanda. I find when speaking to others sometimes instead of listening they give you tips on how to get pregnant.

It's important to just have someone who listens to you. I find myself more and more finding this as my best therapy. In this form I get to get everything out. If you don't have a blog like I do I recommend starting a journal. You need to vent.

If your really have a hard time maybe getting a therapist would be helpful. I know I've seen a therapist at one point for everything going on in my life. I can tell you that it did help to a point. Don't suffer in silence. It is too much for you to hold in.

I also pray a lot to God. I know he is always willing to listen at any time of the day. Specialty when it's 4am in the morning. I feel free when I'm talking with God. I cry a lot of the times but that's just part of what I need to do. We will never know why these things happen to us but God is always there to pull us through.

~Live, Laugh and Love~

Infertility and God

So I have been praying a lot lately. I'm really trying to see why God has placed us with such an obstacle of getting pregnant. I've been reading so many bible verses about how God says we are fruitful and to multiply. If this is the case why do we have infertile people? God does heal the infertile but not all of them. I guess with reading all the verses I have posted below I know God has a purpose for all of us. Some of us are meant to be mother while others are not..

I wonder why God choices women who would be amazing mothers not to be mothers? I know some woman are meant to adopt while others aren't. God has a plan for all of us though it might not be what we want. I know in the end he knows what is best. All I can hope for is that God helps or allows us to be parents.

It's getting old crying myself to sleep. It makes you doubt who you are as a woman. You think why can't I do what my body was made for? It's hard watching others have children while your still waiting. I've been happy for everyone but I can't say it's been easy. I think each time it hurts a little less..Hopefully soon it won't hurt at all.

 It's funny sometimes I feel numb. I sometimes I wonder if I even have any tears left to cry. Then I pray to God and ask him why can't we just get pregnant. It almost feels like we are being punished for something we did. I even tell God I'm sorry for whatever I have done to upset you or lose faith in me. Each day is different it's an emotional roller coaster I'd love to get off of.

There is one verses that really gets me it's Psalm 128:3-4 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine  within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the person be blessed who fears the LORD.  Okay so I read this and think wow this is what God really wants. So I'm married and have a home yet we have no to sit at the table. This just makes me cry. Am I suppose to be hopeful from this? What is your take on the verse send me comments if you want.


I hope the bible verses and stories people you all. I know they give me hope. I'll keep the faith and trust in the Lord. <3


New Living Translation 
Then he went out to the spring that supplied the town with water and threw the salt into it. And he said, “This is what the LORD says: I have purified this water. It will no longer cause death or infertility. ” – 2 Kings 2:21

"There will be no miscarriages or infertility in your land, and I will give you long, full lives." – Exodus 23:26 

The J.B. PHILLIPS NEW TESTAMENT
The story begins in the days when Herod was king of Judea with a priest called Zacharias, whose wife Elisabeth was, like him, a descendant of Aaron. They were both truly religious people, blamelessly observing all God’s commandments and requirements. They were childless through Elisabeth’s infertility, and both of them were getting on in years. One day, while Zacharias was performing his priestly functions (it was the turn of his division to be on duty), it fell to him to go into the sanctuary and burn the incense. The crowded congregation outside was praying at the actual time of the incense-burning, when an angel of the Lord appeared on the right side of the incense-altar. When Zacharias saw him, he was terribly agitated and a sense of awe swept over him. But the angel spoke to him, “Do not be afraid, Zacharias; your prayers have been heard. Elisabeth your wife will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. This will be joy and delight to you and many more will be glad because he is born. He will be one of God’s great men; he will touch neither wine nor strong drink and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit from the moment of his birth. He will turn many of Israel’s children to the Lord their God. He will go out before God in the spirit and power of Elijah—to reconcile fathers and children, and bring back the disobedient to the wisdom of good men—and he will make a people fully ready for their Lord.” – Luke 1:5-17
 King James 

Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you, or among your cattle. – Deuteronomy 7:14

And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years. – Luke 1:7

And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram’s wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor’s wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah. But Sarai was barren; she had no child. – Genesis 11:29,30

And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. – Genesis 25:21

Valentine's Day / Love

So in honor of Valentine's Day I thought I would right a post about love. So to be truthful I could give or take Valentine's Day. The reason being you should show the person you love them every day It's nice to know someone loves you but show them you love them everyday!

My husband did something very sweet he bought me a new Serta memory foam gel pillow. With suffering from chronic pain it's hard to get to sleep in general. I normally have bad neck pain in the morning. Well he gave me my pillow last night and I woke up neck pain free this morning. :) Also I love flowers but I'm not into cut flowers. I hate the fact someone spends so much money on something that is just going to die. Well my husband knows this so he bought me a red tulip plant. I like practical gifts.

Everyone is different others like to be brought out to eat, get roses, chocolates and jewelry. I mean these things are nice but it doesn't take gifts to know someone loves you. Though some men/women also just like to spoil their partners. So to those people good job! Just remember to treat them like a queen/prince everyday! I guess bottom line just be thankful.

 I told my husband I didn't want anything for Valentine's Day but I'm thankful for what he got me. Each day I write Andrew a note that he wakes up to. Yes I'm just that sappy. :) I love him so much and each day I make sure he knows it.

Instead of going out to eat I made salmon, broccoli and oven roasted potatoes. Which happens to be some of his favorite things. Also made homemade Tapioca pudding for dessert. Lets face it we don't have money to blow on going out to eat. Dinner at home is a much cheaper choice.

When we were dating I looked forward to Valentine's Day but now I find our wedding anniversary to be far more important. So in April it will be our 5 year anniversary so we will be spending a night in York Maine. So I guess our anniversary took the place of Valentine's day.

Make sure who ever you love make sure you show them everyday!!!