So I found something I had wrote a while back on my computer. It was something I wrote while talking to God. Just thought I would share it will you all. These are feelings and thoughts I have.
God why must getting pregnant be so hard for Andrew and I? I know I pray all the time that we can get pregnant and finally start a family but sometimes I think you don't have time to answer that prayer. Sometimes I think because I'm not pregnant yet that I shouldn't be a mother but I know I'm meant to be a mother I love children so much...
So each month we try and each month there are never two lines. Each month I fall apart and cry.. Each month I have to cope and move forward. Yet I'm not moving forward in fact I feel like my life is at a stand still. I'm not living while my arms are empty.
I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do.. I'm not sure if being a mother is in the path you have for me.. Again all I can do is pray... Yet I don't know if you hear me.. God please let this happen.. A family is all I have ever wanted. we have a wonderful home and I want to share it with a child or children.
What do I have to do to have you answer my prayer??? I feel like I've failed at being a woman. I feel like I can't do what the one thing on earth I should be able to do.. Is it not meant for me? I guess if I really knew the answers life would be easier. Though maybe it wouldn't if I knew I wasn't meant to be a mom I would have to start therapy of some sort to cope with this. So please God maybe just give me a hint?? Maybe just let me get pregnant... Please it's so hard seeing all these other people with their happy little families and here Andrew and I are wanting that so bad but not having it.
I want to give up sometimes I feel so sad. Please bring us our family. God please let me get pregnant this month..Or at least allow us to get pregnant this year. Please Amen
I've said these exact same words so many times in the past 5 years. I know exactly the emotions behind them, and the tears shed with them. Keep hope.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this, it's hard to be vulnerable, but it's helpful for the rest of us to see we're not the only ones to feel this way.
Thank you so much. I wish I would have seen this comment sooner. For some reason my notifications don't work. Good luck to you!
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