How do I deal

I've been asked a few times how do I deal with others around me being pregnant or having children. To be honest I'm generally not jealous of someone being pregnant. I tend to just be happy for them. Though I have to admit there have been times I've been jealous. It's odd it's different for each person. 

Generally I'm more jealous they have children. Not that I'm jealous of their children. I suppose it is more wishing I could have what they have. I do my best to just be happy for them. I enjoy spending time with other peoples kids. So when I'm around people with kids I'm happy. So yes kids make me happy even if they are not my own. :)

I've been asked how I deal with baby showers and birthday parties. I love going to baby showers. I think it's great to be able to celebrate something so wonderful. With birthday parties I just go and have fun. I always end up playing with everyone's kids at the parties too. I really don't have a problem parties or baby showers.

Over the past year I have distanced myself away from people. It's just in general. I like being by myself. I need to get myself wanting to spend time with people again. I'm kinda in a funk and I'm better alone. It's not that I'm sad because I'm not. It is so hard to explain what I am going through right now. I'm emotionally distant and my guard it up.