Dear God

So I found something I had wrote a while back on my computer. It was something I wrote while talking to God. Just thought I would share it will you all. These are feelings and thoughts I have.

God why must getting pregnant be  so hard for Andrew and I? I know I pray all the time that we can get pregnant and finally start a family but sometimes I think you don't have time to answer that prayer. Sometimes I think because I'm not pregnant yet that I shouldn't be a mother but I know I'm meant to be a mother I love children so much...
So each month we try and each month there are never two lines. Each month I fall apart and cry.. Each month I have to cope and move forward. Yet I'm not moving forward in fact I feel like my life is at a stand still. I'm not living while my arms are empty.
I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do.. I'm not sure if being a mother is in the path you have for me.. Again all I can do is pray... Yet I don't know if you hear me.. God please let this happen.. A family is all I have ever wanted. we have a wonderful home and I want to share it with a child or children.
What do I have to do to have you answer my prayer??? I feel like I've failed at being a woman. I feel like I can't do what the one thing on earth I should be able to do.. Is it not meant for me? I guess if I really knew the answers life would be easier. Though maybe it wouldn't if I knew I wasn't meant to be a mom I would have to start therapy of some sort to cope with this. So please God maybe just give me a hint?? Maybe just let me get pregnant... Please it's so hard seeing all these other people with their happy little families and here Andrew and I are wanting that so bad but not having it.
I want to give up sometimes I feel so sad. Please bring us our family. God please let me get pregnant this month..Or at least allow us to get pregnant this year. Please Amen

How do I deal

I've been asked a few times how do I deal with others around me being pregnant or having children. To be honest I'm generally not jealous of someone being pregnant. I tend to just be happy for them. Though I have to admit there have been times I've been jealous. It's odd it's different for each person. 

Generally I'm more jealous they have children. Not that I'm jealous of their children. I suppose it is more wishing I could have what they have. I do my best to just be happy for them. I enjoy spending time with other peoples kids. So when I'm around people with kids I'm happy. So yes kids make me happy even if they are not my own. :)

I've been asked how I deal with baby showers and birthday parties. I love going to baby showers. I think it's great to be able to celebrate something so wonderful. With birthday parties I just go and have fun. I always end up playing with everyone's kids at the parties too. I really don't have a problem parties or baby showers.

Over the past year I have distanced myself away from people. It's just in general. I like being by myself. I need to get myself wanting to spend time with people again. I'm kinda in a funk and I'm better alone. It's not that I'm sad because I'm not. It is so hard to explain what I am going through right now. I'm emotionally distant and my guard it up.

Days like this

So I went to see my neurologist today and it went okay. My neuropathy is getting worse. At first is was just my feet but now it is my entire lower half. To be truthful walking isn't the easiest thing for me. It's hard to walk when you can barely feel your legs. It scares me I'm 27 and sitting in a chair is to much for me. I have to keep my legs up.

The doctor compared me to an 80 year old woman. My reflexes have slow down. It's not just my body anymore it's my vision. I get a lot of blurred vision. Trying to watch a tv program is next to impossible I can't keep myself paying attention. Not only that I forget what I'm watching and have to watch things over and over to understand.

So here I am wanting to be able to have a child when I struggle just to take care of myself. I never thought my life was going to turn out this way. I'm blessed with the most amazing husband ever but I don't know how he deals with me. I feel terrible we don't even sleep in the same bed. 

I knew deep down I was getting worse. I just don't want to lose being able to walk. I mean here I am alone in my own house and walking to the bathroom some days is a struggle. I try not to burden people with my problems but I guess the doctors just brought it all up.

I will be finding a therapist soon not just because my neurologist said I should but because I need to. He said I can only be so strong. I'm so blessed with so much in my life. I'm so thankful for everyone and everything that is apart of my life. Don't get me wrong with everything I'm still happy. 

I won't give up without a fight. Whatever is meant to be will be. 

Neurologist tomorrow

So tomorrow thankfully I will be seeing my neurologist. I have been looking forward to this appointment for a few months now. I'm hoping he changes my medication a little. My medication that is suppose to help with sleep stopped working about 8 months ago. I see 5am every night and I never ever stay asleep..

Also not only that but I have been falling a lot more now. I have bad numbness in my legs now. Anytime I climb/ go down stairs I fall down them. My neurologist last time I went said he had no idea why my legs have been so numb. I hope I get some answers this time.

Every night my ears, hands and feet are so bright red. I'm used to it but man does it hurt. I really want help with my pain I'm not asking for "pain" medication like Vicodin or anything. Just hoping to go on something other than Gabapentin for my pain. I mean I'm already on 2,400mg and it doesn't do anything.

Also I have trouble holding conversation or paying attention this is due to my lack of sleep. I pause a lot when talking now. I feel like I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body. I think if my neuro can't help me I'll have him recommend another doctor. I'd like to be present in my life again.

RSD I hate you that is all!

My review on Fertilitea

Okay so I stared taking Fertilitea twice a day last month. You take it twice a day. What I can tell you is it is really yummy. It has a nice mint/ chamomile flavor.Well my cycle has always been really weird. It generally is about 33 days.. Well for the last 2 months it has now been 28 days long. :) So to me this is a huge step.

Also another improvement has been my cervical mucus. I've noticed that there has been a lot more of it which to someone trying to get pregnant is a very good thing. I could tell already that the mucus is more fertile. If you check your mucus you know what I'm talking about. If you don't you really should start looking at it. You want it to be a creamy white color that is stretchy. That means the sperm can last up to 5 days in it.

Another big improvement has been my cycle is about 4-5 days long well guess what both months it has been 7 days long. Another thing my ovulation was always pretty crazy I would ovulate between day 10 all the way to day 22. Well guess what it was exactly day 14 this month.

So the tea also has a Minty flavor which if you like mint it's good. Just add a little sweetener to it. I've even been adding a little almond milk to it. So if you are worried that the tea is going to have a bad taste it doesn't. There is no bad after taste. :)

Needless to say I just ordered another bag of this tea. It is $14.95 with free shipping. I highly recommend it for the price. Anything is worth a shot. We have decided to try the tea for one more month before we go in the IUI direction. I'm all about trying natural things before we go the unnatural route. I'm in no way part of the Tea company just a person trying it and seeing results. Anything is worth a shot right?
This is where you can order it from http://www.amazon.com/FertiliTea-Natural-Fertility-Tea-Blend/dp/B0006SFQGO/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361651852&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=ferilirea

UPDATE: I did get pregnant after 2 1/2 months being on it but we just lost our baby. So yes this stuff does work.


Update again I'm pregnant with our Rainbow Due May 31st!! We used this tea again after I had my D&C and it regulated my cycles really quick. We waited our 3 months like we we're told and got pregnant the month we started trying.


Check out ipsy $10 a month for deluxe makeup and beauty samples http://www.ipsy.com/r/1w3nw?sid=ipsypoints&cid=general

Strong Enough

Do you ever wake up and think am I really strong enough to handle this? Well I have realized as long as I have God in my life I know I can make it though it all. There is a song that has gotten me through the past two years. I can't put the video on here it is to big but you really should go listen to ***Matthew West Strong Enough*** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knuHDPbE5es That song always makes me cry but for a thankfulness in the lord.

I just think everyone dealing with personal problems whether it be infertility, poverty, diseases  job loss and so on.. It is important to know that God is always there for you. To know he is always willing to listen to you. He has brought me through so much and has blessed me with so much.

Sometimes we are our biggest obstacle. I know I tell myself the reason we don't have a child is because I'm being punished for something I might have done in life. Whether it be something I did or said. I need to know us not having a child isn't because God is mad at me. Sometimes we have to go through the struggles to get to the good.

Another song I really love is Jimmy Needham If I ever needed Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZTGYLZLV_4 It's another song that makes me feel good knowing God is there for me. I think sometimes songs can be so helpful. 

Praying for our Dream to come true

I find it adorable that my husband likes to pray over me before he goes to bed. He always ask God to take my pain away and to allow us to finally get pregnant. I think it just shows that he wants to be a father as much as I want to be a mother. Andy talks a lot about what he wants to do with our child or children one day..

So not only is it hard on me not getting pregnant but it is hard on him. He talks about trips we will talk, things we will do and just things he can't wait for. I know when the day comes Andrew is going to be an amazing father. He is going to be one of those super involved fathers. I know this because I see the way he is with other people's kids.

One day hopefully soon God will let us be parents. We don't know what is in God's plan for us but we both hope being parents is part of it. I truly don't know if Andrew and I would be okay with not being parents. We just need to keep the faith that God knows what is best for us as a married couple.

Sending Baby Dust to the ones who need it! <3

Acronyms and Abbreviation used with Infertility/Fertility

Here are a list of Acronyms and Abbreviation for Conceiving/Infertility   

TTC ~ Trying to Conceive

AF ~ Aunt Flow (period)

AHI ~ At-Home Insemination

AI ~ Artificial Insemination

AID ~ Artificial Insemination from Donor

AIH ~ Artificial Insemination from Husband

AO ~ Anovulation

BD ~ Baby Dance

BBT ~ Basal Body Temperature

BCP ~ Birth Control Pills

Beta, beta hCG ~ Serum Pregnancy Test: qualitative (yes/no) or quantitative (numeric level)

BG ~ Blood Glucose

BSE ~ Breast Self-Exam

BTB ~ Break Through Bleeding

BW, b/w ~ Blood work

BOB ~ Baby on the Brain, Baby Obsessed Brain

BFN ~ Big Fat Negative

BFP ~ Big Fat Positive

CY# ~ Cycle Number

CCCT ~ Clomiphene Citrate Challenge Test (Clomid Challenge)

CD ~ Cycle Day

CF ~ Cervical Fluid

CM ~ Cervical Mucus

CNM ~ Certified Nurse Midwife

COH ~ Controlled Ovarian Hyper stimulation

CP ~ Cervical Position

DH ~Dearest Husband

DD ~ Darling Daughter

DP ~ Darling Partner

DS ~ Darling Son

D&C ~ Dilation and Curettage

D&E ~ Dilation and Evacuation

DE ~ Donor Eggs

DI ~ Donor Insemination

DPO ~ Days Past Ovulation

Dx ~ Diagnosis

DTD ~ Do the Deed

E2 ~ Estradiol (Estrogen)

EB, EMB ~ Endometrial Biopsy

EDC ~ Expected Date of Confinement (Due Date)

EDD ~ Estimated Due Date

ENDO ~ Endometriosis

EPT ~ Early Pregnancy Test

ERT ~ Estrogen Replacement Therapy

EW ~ Egg White

EWCF ~ Eggwhite Cervical Fluid

EWCM ~ Eggwhite Cervical Mucus

FP ~ Follicular Phase

FHR ~ Follicle Stimulating Hormone

FMU ~ First Morning Urine

FM ~ Fertility Monitor

GP ~ General Practitioner

HCG, HCG ` Human Chronic Gonadotropin

HCP ~ Health Care Practitioner

HPT ~ Home Pregnancy Test

HRT ~ Hormone Replacement Therapy

HSC ~ Hysteroscopy

HSG ~ Hysterosalpingogram

HTH ~ Hope that helps

IF ~ Infertility

IM ~ Intra-Muscular (injections)

IVF ~ In Vitro Fertilization

IUI ~ Inter Uterine Insemination

KWIM ~ Know what I mean?

LAP ~ Laparoscopy

LH ~ Luteinzing Hormone

LMP ~ Last Menstrual Period (1st day of red flow)

LP ~ Luteal Phase

2WW ~ 2 Week Wait (luteal phase)

LSP ~ Low Sperm Count

MC, m/c ~ Miscarriage

MF ~ Male Factor

NP ~ Nurse Practitioner

O, OV ~ Ovualtion

OB ~ Obstetrician

OB/GYN ~ Obstetrician/Gynecologist

OC ~ Oral Contraceptives

OCP ~ Oral Contraceptive Pill

OD ~ Ovulatory Dysfunction

OHSS ~ Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome

OPK ~ Ovulation Predictor Kit

OPT ~ Ovulation Predictor Test

OTC ~ Over The Counter

P4 ~ Progesterone

PA ~ Physicians Assistant

PCAP ~ Polycystic Appearing Ovaries

PCO ~ Polycystic Ovaries

PCOD ~ Polycystic Ovary Disease

PCOS ~ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

PCP ~ Primary Care Physician

PCT ~ Postcoital Test

PG ~ Pregnant

PI ~ Primary Infertility

PID ~ Pelvic Inflammatory Disease

PMS ~ Premenstrual Syndrome

POC ~ Products of Conception

RE ~ Reproductive Endocrinologist

RI ~ Reproductive Immunologist

RPL ~ Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

Rx ~ Prescription

SA ~ Semen Analysis

S/b, SB Stillbirth

SI ~ Secondary Infertility

SO ~ Significant Other

TTC ~ Trying to conceive

TL ~ Tubal Ligation

TR ~ Tubal Reversal

Tx ~ Treatment

TIA ~ Thanks in advance

TAB ~ Taking A Break

TMI ~ Too Much Information

UR ~ Urologist

US, u/s ~ Ultrasound

UTI ~ Urinary Tract Infection

V ~ Vasectomy

VR ~ Vasectomy Reversal

http://www.fertilityties.com/topics/ttc-lingo-learn-ttc-acronyms-and-abbreviations

Open communication

So I think it it important for everyone suffering from infertility to have open communication with someone. Whether it be your spouse, family or a friend. I have my husband to talk to but he only understands so much. I find myself a lot talking to my mom and my two best friends Natalie and Amanda. I find when speaking to others sometimes instead of listening they give you tips on how to get pregnant.

It's important to just have someone who listens to you. I find myself more and more finding this as my best therapy. In this form I get to get everything out. If you don't have a blog like I do I recommend starting a journal. You need to vent.

If your really have a hard time maybe getting a therapist would be helpful. I know I've seen a therapist at one point for everything going on in my life. I can tell you that it did help to a point. Don't suffer in silence. It is too much for you to hold in.

I also pray a lot to God. I know he is always willing to listen at any time of the day. Specialty when it's 4am in the morning. I feel free when I'm talking with God. I cry a lot of the times but that's just part of what I need to do. We will never know why these things happen to us but God is always there to pull us through.

~Live, Laugh and Love~

Infertility and God

So I have been praying a lot lately. I'm really trying to see why God has placed us with such an obstacle of getting pregnant. I've been reading so many bible verses about how God says we are fruitful and to multiply. If this is the case why do we have infertile people? God does heal the infertile but not all of them. I guess with reading all the verses I have posted below I know God has a purpose for all of us. Some of us are meant to be mother while others are not..

I wonder why God choices women who would be amazing mothers not to be mothers? I know some woman are meant to adopt while others aren't. God has a plan for all of us though it might not be what we want. I know in the end he knows what is best. All I can hope for is that God helps or allows us to be parents.

It's getting old crying myself to sleep. It makes you doubt who you are as a woman. You think why can't I do what my body was made for? It's hard watching others have children while your still waiting. I've been happy for everyone but I can't say it's been easy. I think each time it hurts a little less..Hopefully soon it won't hurt at all.

 It's funny sometimes I feel numb. I sometimes I wonder if I even have any tears left to cry. Then I pray to God and ask him why can't we just get pregnant. It almost feels like we are being punished for something we did. I even tell God I'm sorry for whatever I have done to upset you or lose faith in me. Each day is different it's an emotional roller coaster I'd love to get off of.

There is one verses that really gets me it's Psalm 128:3-4 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine  within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the person be blessed who fears the LORD.  Okay so I read this and think wow this is what God really wants. So I'm married and have a home yet we have no to sit at the table. This just makes me cry. Am I suppose to be hopeful from this? What is your take on the verse send me comments if you want.


I hope the bible verses and stories people you all. I know they give me hope. I'll keep the faith and trust in the Lord. <3


New Living Translation 
Then he went out to the spring that supplied the town with water and threw the salt into it. And he said, “This is what the LORD says: I have purified this water. It will no longer cause death or infertility. ” – 2 Kings 2:21

"There will be no miscarriages or infertility in your land, and I will give you long, full lives." – Exodus 23:26 

The J.B. PHILLIPS NEW TESTAMENT
The story begins in the days when Herod was king of Judea with a priest called Zacharias, whose wife Elisabeth was, like him, a descendant of Aaron. They were both truly religious people, blamelessly observing all God’s commandments and requirements. They were childless through Elisabeth’s infertility, and both of them were getting on in years. One day, while Zacharias was performing his priestly functions (it was the turn of his division to be on duty), it fell to him to go into the sanctuary and burn the incense. The crowded congregation outside was praying at the actual time of the incense-burning, when an angel of the Lord appeared on the right side of the incense-altar. When Zacharias saw him, he was terribly agitated and a sense of awe swept over him. But the angel spoke to him, “Do not be afraid, Zacharias; your prayers have been heard. Elisabeth your wife will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. This will be joy and delight to you and many more will be glad because he is born. He will be one of God’s great men; he will touch neither wine nor strong drink and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit from the moment of his birth. He will turn many of Israel’s children to the Lord their God. He will go out before God in the spirit and power of Elijah—to reconcile fathers and children, and bring back the disobedient to the wisdom of good men—and he will make a people fully ready for their Lord.” – Luke 1:5-17
 King James 

Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you, or among your cattle. – Deuteronomy 7:14

And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years. – Luke 1:7

And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram’s wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor’s wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah. But Sarai was barren; she had no child. – Genesis 11:29,30

And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. – Genesis 25:21

Valentine's Day / Love

So in honor of Valentine's Day I thought I would right a post about love. So to be truthful I could give or take Valentine's Day. The reason being you should show the person you love them every day It's nice to know someone loves you but show them you love them everyday!

My husband did something very sweet he bought me a new Serta memory foam gel pillow. With suffering from chronic pain it's hard to get to sleep in general. I normally have bad neck pain in the morning. Well he gave me my pillow last night and I woke up neck pain free this morning. :) Also I love flowers but I'm not into cut flowers. I hate the fact someone spends so much money on something that is just going to die. Well my husband knows this so he bought me a red tulip plant. I like practical gifts.

Everyone is different others like to be brought out to eat, get roses, chocolates and jewelry. I mean these things are nice but it doesn't take gifts to know someone loves you. Though some men/women also just like to spoil their partners. So to those people good job! Just remember to treat them like a queen/prince everyday! I guess bottom line just be thankful.

 I told my husband I didn't want anything for Valentine's Day but I'm thankful for what he got me. Each day I write Andrew a note that he wakes up to. Yes I'm just that sappy. :) I love him so much and each day I make sure he knows it.

Instead of going out to eat I made salmon, broccoli and oven roasted potatoes. Which happens to be some of his favorite things. Also made homemade Tapioca pudding for dessert. Lets face it we don't have money to blow on going out to eat. Dinner at home is a much cheaper choice.

When we were dating I looked forward to Valentine's Day but now I find our wedding anniversary to be far more important. So in April it will be our 5 year anniversary so we will be spending a night in York Maine. So I guess our anniversary took the place of Valentine's day.

Make sure who ever you love make sure you show them everyday!!!

Relationships

So I have realized something over the past few years I've changed. I think you realize someone can only hurt you so much before you have to walk away. There have been people in Andrew and I's life that we had to remove ourselves from. It's not that we don't care about them it's just their not healthy for us to be around. Though ending some of those relationships have been hard. I've seen the hurt it has caused but the peace it has brought.

I stick up for myself a lot more now. I try not to let people walk all over me or control me. I have my moments of weakness were I have allowed those people to hurt me. I have come out stronger in the end. I will fight for who I am. I will protect my husband, family and friends. The people I care about mean more to be then any petty relationship. 

We only have so much time on this earth. Why not do what makes you happy. Don't allow others to control you. I won't be posting about who these people are or what caused us to have to walk away. Just know we are in a better place. Part of us buying our home was getting out of the city we lived in. Our lives are much more peaceful now. We did what made us happy as should all of you. 

~Live Laugh and Love~

Hebrews 10:24-25

and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.

Reasons why

Sometimes I wonder why God allows some people to be parents..I see children all the time who have parents who don't take care of their kids. I feel bad for those children the kids so aren't feed, clothed, bathed, have poor healthcare or not loved. Well maybe their loved but not enough. It confuses me why God would bless them with such a beautiful gift.

I guess it's hard sometimes seeing all these kids my parents end up taking care of. I'm thankful that my parents do foster care. Though it's hard sometimes knowing what these kids have come from. I wish that if people are going to get pregnant that they will actually be a parent. Truthfully I think some people aren't meant to be parents. Yes they might have gotten pregnant but they don't know how to care for their children. Not because they don't love their kids but because they just can't.

Then there are people like me and so many others who would love to be parents but have to struggle with getting to that point. Yes some days are easier then other days. I do keep the faith that God will bless us with a little one. I pray for everyone who reads my blog that wants to have a family will get to have a family. Sometimes it is hard to understand what God really wants for us.

If you are a parent just know you are blessed. Just know I'm so happy for you. To the people who have never struggled with infertility know you are lucky. I to hope to one day know what it is like to feel my baby kick for the first time. To see the sonogram or hear the heart beat. To hear the first cry or see their first steps. I can't wait to be able to experience all of that. Know each and every day that God has choose you to parent. Remember each day is a gift with them. <3

~Life Laugh and Love~

What I take every day

I take prenatal, Cod Liver Oil and Calcium once a day.. The Fertitea I take twice a day 1tsp to 8oz of hot water..  I take Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar twice a day.. It's pretty strong sometimes my eyes water.So yes I have been prepping my body for pregnancy

Anyways just thought I'd show you all what I take every day.. Have a wonderful night! :)

The next step

So Andrew and I have been talking and we have decided after this month if we don't get pregnant we are calling my infertility doctor. We were told that we would be good candidates for IUI. I talked about what IUI is another post. So we are thinking this might be our best bet.

I would love to be able to get pregnant naturally but at this point I don't know if it is going to happen. I'm a little scared to do IUI.. So I'm wondering if anyone reading this has done IUI? How many times did you try it and did you get pregnant. I know it's going to cost us money but what else really can we do?

We both have been trying all different natural ways to get pregnant with no success. I want nothing more than to get a positive test result but that negative result every month is like a slap in the face. I fall apart every month like clock work. I just want those two lines to show........

I'm hoping God will give us a sign. I know some have told me it is wrong to do IUI or IVF because that's not God's way and so on. I think what makes it hard is knowing we have a room all set up and ready for a baby. Sometimes I think wow why do we have that stroller or car seat. We have so much stuff just waiting to be used. I just hope  all the money spent wasn't for nothing. I just need God's guidance to help me through the next step.

Andrew and one of our babies

Life goes on

So it's 1am which to me is still pretty early in the night. In generally get to bed between 4am & 5am. It's pretty windy outside and we have already gotten over a foot of snow. I find snow to be peaceful like it cleans the air. I don't know if it is just me but I love the way it smells after it snows. So with it snowing it makes me think of a fresh start.

So maybe it is time for me to take a fresh look at my life. Try and find a new balance to things. I've realized there is a reason why Andrew and I haven't had a child yet and it has to be due to my health. In the past fews years I've had seizures, surgery and developed RSD. All of these things aren't good for bringing a child into the world.

To be honest I want to be a mother more than anything in this world. Though there are days where I think wow could I handle it? I know if I ever have a baby I will have to ask for help. I mean there are days where it is just hard to take care of myself. I know if I do become pregnant God will show me the way. It scares me with the amount of times I fall down the stairs. Or even just fall in general. Then I think what if this happens when I'm pregnant and it causes harm to the baby?

I will be seeing my neurologist the end of this month. I need to get myself well. I've become to forgetful lately I know RSD does that. I barely sleep and when I do I never stay asleep. Not that I can really complain. I have a wonderful life. I'm so blesses with amazing people in my life. I couldn't be any luckier if I tried.

I guess what it boils down to is I'm just ready to see what God has to offer me. To see the path he wants Andrew and I to go down. Even with everything going on I truly hope that I can become pregnant and make Andrew a father. I know he is going to be an amazing father one day.

Tips on increasing your fertility

So I have been reading a lot about tips on increasing your fertility. So I want to share with you some of those tips I've learned. I think I'll give 7 tips out and some I'll go a little more in depth with.

1.) Take you Basal temperature . Keep your thermometer by your bed. Make sure to take your temp with in the same hour block each day. Do it before you get out of bed or even talk. Even make sure you place the thermometer in the same spot each time. (This really isn't working for me do to having RSD my temps have been up and down like crazy plus my temp sometimes is so low it's not even on the chart. I run as low as 96.4 F)

2.) Make sure you get plenty of sleep. I've read a lot of places you need as much as up to 9 1/2 hours a night. Keep your room cool and dark.  Make sure to block all of the light coming into your room.

3.) Find nutrition problems.. Here are some that tend to be low: Vitamin D, Zinc, Omega 3, and Minerals 

4.) Eat Real Food: . Eat eggs, organic fruits, organic vegetables, dairy whole milk not skim milk, and healthy fats ( butter, olive oil, avocado, and  coconut oil)

Don't eat: butter subs, white flour, white sugar, soy products, corn syrup, MSG, No trans fats, processed foods, and no vegetable oils like corn or soy.

5.) Use Super foods: Maca which is a root vegetable, Cod liver oil and royal jelly

6.) Reduce Toxins: Try to use natural cleaning products. Avoid scented candles unless natural like soy. Don't use non stick pans. Also check your cosmetics at http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

7.) Use Acupuncture: I've yet to try this but I have always wanted to. Have any of you tried this for infertility? Has it helped???

I hope this post has helped a little!

Answering a question

So watching the news I guess we are suppose to get around 2 feet of snow from Friday through Saturday. I'm really happy that my father gave Andrew and I a snow blower when we bought our house. So this will be the first real big snowstorm of the year. I know the dogs are looking forward to it. Klondike loves snow.

Nothing really has gone on today just relaxing with the animals. Off later to get our taxes done. We tried to get them done last Friday but I forgot to bring our house closing paper with us. Opps I didn't realize you needed those.. Guess that happens when you are a first time home buyers. 

Things have been going well this week. I'm still so overwhelmed by everyone reaching out to me. It's always good to know people care about what I'm writing. If you'd like to leave a comment below about what you'd like to hear me right about. Just make sure you fill in the letter capture to post.

I did get a question about if we have thought about using a surrogate.. So we have talked about it but if it does happen it would be a while from now. We are trying natural remedies right now to see if they will help. The second thing on the list is doing IUI..  http://infertility.about.com/od/infertilitytreatments/a/what_is_IUI.htm

What Is IUI Treatment?

IUI, or intrauterine insemination, is a relatively simple infertility treatment, where a small tube is used to place specially washed sperm directly into the uterus. You may know of IUI by the more commonly used term artificial insemination (AI). IUI and AI are one and the same fertility treatment.

The third thing on the list would be IVF which is expensive so hopefully the first two methods will work for us. http://infertility.about.com/od/ivf/a/What-Is-Ivf-in-vitro-fertilization.htm

What Is IVF? 

IVF stands for in vitro fertilization, which literally means "in lab conception." With IVF treatment, the egg is fertilized with sperm in a petri dish. Typically, many eggs are retrieved from the biological mother (who may or may not be the intended parent), as not every egg will fertilize, and not every fertilized egg will become a viable embryo.

The last on the list would be a surrogate. It almost scares me to have someone else carrying your baby for you. I think it is beautiful that someone would do that for you though. At this point though I've been told I should have no problem with carrying our child. Though if something does arise we really will have an in depth conversation about it.

Emotions

So I started this blog on a whim last Thursday night. I just want to say it has been the best thing I could have done for myself. I needed a place to be able to place my thoughts and not feel negativity towards me. Suffering from infertility issues is hard enough without hearing unnecessary comments from others. I've realized those comments are the reason now why I'm here doing this.

I felt that it was God's way of saying you are doing what is right. Not only do I feel less stressed but I'm happier. The comments, emails and messages of support I have been getting has been almost overwhelming. It's truly what I needed but from the sounds of it this blog is what some others needed.

To sit in silence and bottle all these emotions up was taking it's tole on me. I'll be honest I was jealous, angry and upset. The past few months since I moved into my house last July has been a roller coaster of emotions. I was so happy to have a home and a yard.. Though sad because I wanted a child to share the home with. Slowly I'm trying to come to terms with what God wants for Andrew and I.

It is almost funny what buying a house can do to you. I never thought it would bring me down as much as it did. How could I be so happy but so sad. Living in an apartment was something I hated but I could keep my emotions in check a little better. I guess when you think of a home you think of family. I have to realize that at this moment I do have a family it just looks a little different. My children have four legs. I just need to be content with what I have.

My Husband and I

Seems how I have posted a lot of blogs about infertility and my wants of being a mother. I thought I would make a blog of what I am thankful for and a little about how my husband and I met. A few of the things I'm thankful for God, my husband, my parents, my sister, my family who has been supportive, extended family, My besties (Amanda and Natalie), RSD friends, and my (fur babies) animals.

 So I've had a crush on my husband Andrew since middle school.. You know that guy you always have a thing for but was to scared to say anything because he was a grade ahead of you.. Yeah that was me.. :) We even ended up at the same vocational high school.. Funny thing is we road the same bus and time to time he sat with me.. He never really spoke to me so I never said much to him.. I was fat back then a hefty 258lbs so I was shy...

Well here comes my senior year and I wanted to make it the best I could. So I started eating healthy and exercising.. I believe I started doing this in November 2003 when the doctor was worried about my weight. I was almost a size 20 so I was worried to. So here comes May and I'm down to a size 8/9 and dropped 100lbs. I dated a little but nothing that meant anything..

Well in June 2004 I walked into Big Lots with my mom and I was shocked.. The boy I crushed on all through middle school and high school worked there.. To my surprise he flirted a little with me.. I didn't think to much of it but by the time I got home that was all I could think about.. So a few days later me being a chicken I had my sister give him my phone number.. He called that night..

August 2004

We dated for a few weeks before he asked me out on July 10, 2004.. I went to college in Rhode Island. I attended Johnson & Wales for Culinary arts.. I came home on the weekends to see my family and him.. We dated for about 2 years and he asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes. We hit a dump in the road and split up for about a month but course got back together.

We were married on April 19, 2008. My sister was my Maid of honor and my friend Amanda and Misty were my bridesmaids. It was such a warm day it was in the 70's which is odd for April. It was a pretty amazing day.We went to Maine for our honeymoon. I'm so blessed to have married my soul mate. I truly fall more in love with him each day.

Vitamins and My Diet

So I have been taking Pre Natal vitamins for a year now. I also take Folic Acid, Vitamin D and Cod Liver Oil... On top of that I eat healthy with an occasional slip.. Girl has to have chocolate every once and a while. I'm lactose like really bad so I don't eat dairy, sweets, fried food, fatty meats, soy and limit my gluten intake.

About 2 weeks ago I started drinking two cups a day of FertiliTea. One thing I have noticed since I started taking it is my period started at least 5 days before it normally does. I'm guessing  this is a good thing because I generally don't start till day 32 or so.. It says it is suppose to help regulate your period so it appears to have done that. I'm guessing this is going to make tracking my ovulation a bit easier.

I'm hoping I will be seeing other results from this tea. I know not everyone believes in holistic medicine but, I think it is worth a shot. Why not spend $14.95 to try something out when everyone knows the crazy cost of IUI and IVF. My husband has also just started taking Ginseng.

So I will post a great link about a fertility diet. http://natural-fertility-info.com/fertility-diet

Books I've read on infertility not that many eeks

So I've been asked if I have read any infertility books.. I have read a few books you know the ones you can download for free. :) I'm thinking about maybe branching out and buying a book.. Here are a few of the books I've read.

The Sperm Meets Egg Plan by Deanna Roy

Getting Pregnant in 3 Months by Diana Daiz

How to Get Pregnant By Learning How To Increase Fertility by Lori Ramsey

I've read more just can't remember the titles. Are there any books you would recommend for me to read about infertility?

I also enjoy finding info online here are a few websites I've found and liked.
http://www.fertilityplus.com/toc.html

http://theinfertilityvoice.com/2012/03/your-infertility-story-matters/

Babble

Today/ Chemical pregnancies

I'm pretty upbeat today which is great. I'm finally out of the gloom of the negative pregnancy test result. It always seems to last a few days. Not all the time is it a negative pregnancy test it could just be mother nature visiting with her monthly gift.

Okay I want to take time and talk a bit about something not everyone knows about the dreaded chemical pregnancy. Oh boy do you get excited to see a positive test result and think yes this is it! :) No sadly it's not the next day you get it will be negative. I've had my share of these. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how many times I was thrilled...Though I always knew something deep down something wasn't right.

I've talked to my doctors about this and I've had all types of tests to see why this has happened a handful of times. Everything always comes back fine. So what I've learned is I won't be taking any more of those early pregnancy tests. Why you might ask because it's heartbreaking.

I hope to one day get a positive test result and it stay positive. Has anyone else had chemical pregnancies.. If so what have you done to prevent them? Or what have you done to cope?

Here is a link about what chemical pregnancies are. I have also posted the info from the site below...

Hope everyone has an amazing day! Sending baby dust your way.

 http://www.pregnancy.org/article/chemical-pregnancy

Chemical Pregnancy

A miscarriage that happens within a week or so of the due menstrual period is called a chemical pregnancy. As many as 8 out of 10 women have either experienced one or will experience one in their lifetime. These early miscarriages are overlooked as a heavy menstrual bleeding and or a period that lasts a little longer than usual. Chemical pregnancies are fairly common and many times a woman will discover that she has indeed experienced an early miscarriage.

Most women discover they are having an early miscarriage if they are charting their fertility signs and are actively trying to become pregnant. Many women can attain a positive home pregnancy test as early as 10 days post ovulation and some tests can even detect pregnancy earlier. Because of the sensitivity of some home pregnancy tests, a woman who knows exactly when she ovulates can test even before the menstrual period is due.

There are numerous different reasons why chemical pregnancies occur:

• Low progesterone
• Insufficient uterine lining
• Genetic problems
• Immune issues
• Possible obstructions in the uterus, such as fibroid tumors (depending on their location)

Many tests can be run to determine why chemical pregnancies occur, though sometimes a reason will be found.

Some steps can be taken to help prevent future chemical pregnancies once it has been established that a woman has suffered an early miscarriage. After two or more miscarriages most doctors will begin testing to find the reason for the miscarriages. Some doctors will begin these tests sooner.

Possible treatments include heparin, aspirin, immune testing, genetic counseling, progesterone and other drugs such as Clomid.