Needless to say he told me he was going to get me in as soon as he could. We'll he did his best and surgery was set for 2pm. The hardest part with signing the paper work was the disposal of remains part. I cried it was all too much for me to read about or hear about. Thankfully the lady having me do the paper work was amazing and supportive.
So my mom came and picked me up from the hospital to hang out at her house for an hour before I had to go back for surgery. I did my best to stay positive and remember our little one was in heaven and this was the best thing to do with everything going on with my body.
When we arrived to Heywood I had some of the most amazing nurses, doctors and so on. So supportive and caring. I couldn't believe how wonderfully I was being treated. I've heard of others having miscarriages and the doctors and so on we're rude and insensitive This for me was not the case. I was blessed!!! One of the nurses even cried she felt so bad.
Everyone was supried with how well I was handling everything. My mom spent the time with me until surgery happened. My poor husband was at work worrying the whole time about what was going on and if I was going to be okay. Must have been hard on him.
Needless to say my surgery went well with no complications!!!! When I came out of surgery it was hard I cried a lot realizing the baby was really gone now. Thankfully at this time my hubby and mom was there. Not to mention the sweetest nurse in the entire world!!!! She said I have a good feeling about you next time I will be helping with the delivery of your baby. :) She even said she you next year.
She was wonderful and I'm thankful God placed everyone today in my life to help me. Without these people today could have been so much worse. She ended up making us our own pot of coffee and dropping the pot off in our room which I thought was super sweet.
When she wheeled us out of the hospital she gave both my husband and I huge hugs and wished us good luck. I could tell she really cared about us. It made a terrible day a day where I could begin to heal.
Andrew and I have been throwing around the idea of naming the baby for healing and all. So we did ended up naming our little Angel who lives in heaven. Even though we don't know the gender we both felt 100% it was a girl.. We named her Hope Blessing. She has given us so much hope about life and was truly a blessing from God.
I know some might find it odd to name a child you have never meet nor know the gender of. This baby is just as important to us as if they we're still on earth with us. We love our baby and look forward to meeting her. <3
Now for the healing to begin!
"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."
"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you."
Winnie the Pooh
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| Willow Tree Blessing (middle name) from my mom and a sweet little puppy from the hubby |
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| Hope Blessing Lefebvre Gone to soon Due 12/28/2013 |
I just wanted to say, thanks for sharing your story. Next month will be 3 years since my miscarriage and d&c. It's still hurts, but time has given me some clarity and perspective on life's blessings. We haven't starting trying again yet due to some complications I'm having with my back. I guess I'm not ready to try yet. I hope you are healing well physically and emotionally. *hug*
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your loss. There is nothing in the world that prepares you for the loss of a child. I'm still a little sore but I'm okay. Emotionally I take it day by day. Today is a bad day all I want to do is cry because I miss Hope so much.
DeleteI understand your pain, and needing to name that little blessing that you never got to hold. I have lost four babies in three pregnancies - over 4 years, and I have named every single one. My beautiful Bailey, Riley, Taylor, and Harper. They were too precious for earth. I too started a blog to help the healing process, and I admit that it has helped. God bless you, and baby dust to you for better luck next time.
ReplyDeleteI've had some people think it was odd we named her while others thought is was a sweet idea. I'm so sorry you have 4 angels. Blogging has been so helpful and has made things easier on me. Good luck too you!!!
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