Days like this

So I went to see my neurologist today and it went okay. My neuropathy is getting worse. At first is was just my feet but now it is my entire lower half. To be truthful walking isn't the easiest thing for me. It's hard to walk when you can barely feel your legs. It scares me I'm 27 and sitting in a chair is to much for me. I have to keep my legs up.

The doctor compared me to an 80 year old woman. My reflexes have slow down. It's not just my body anymore it's my vision. I get a lot of blurred vision. Trying to watch a tv program is next to impossible I can't keep myself paying attention. Not only that I forget what I'm watching and have to watch things over and over to understand.

So here I am wanting to be able to have a child when I struggle just to take care of myself. I never thought my life was going to turn out this way. I'm blessed with the most amazing husband ever but I don't know how he deals with me. I feel terrible we don't even sleep in the same bed. 

I knew deep down I was getting worse. I just don't want to lose being able to walk. I mean here I am alone in my own house and walking to the bathroom some days is a struggle. I try not to burden people with my problems but I guess the doctors just brought it all up.

I will be finding a therapist soon not just because my neurologist said I should but because I need to. He said I can only be so strong. I'm so blessed with so much in my life. I'm so thankful for everyone and everything that is apart of my life. Don't get me wrong with everything I'm still happy. 

I won't give up without a fight. Whatever is meant to be will be.